The Criticism Trap – What’s a Parent To Do? Part 1 of a Series - The Criticism Trap The Criticism Trap – What’s a Parent To Do? Let’s say you want to escape the Criticism Trap. What can a parent do? You want your child to play by outside alone. This is a test of their independence and your ability to create a setting where your child won’t interrupt you and won’t be rewarded with your attention. Here’s a handy checklist to beat the Criticism Trap: Tell the children how long they will be expected to be outside. Check on them at least once every 10 minutes and reward them with attention for the appropriate behaviors of playing well together. Catch them being good. Ignore requests to return If necessary put a kitchen timer out where the children will hear it ring when outdoor time is over. Pay attention to the fact that they did what you asked. Praise the children for playing well. Be consistent. The Parent’s Perspective If a parent now discovers that they have been trapped, they need to change their behavior so that they reward children with attention for appropriate behavior and ignore their inappropriate behavior. Getting out of the criticism trap is harder than it sounds. If a child is used to being given attention for nagging, they will usually accelerate that behavior when you fail to respond with attention. Typically, the behavior will strengthen temporarily before it begins to decrease. This is known as âthe extinction burstâ. If you give attention during the extinction burst, you wind up reinforcing the inappropriate behavior at exactly the wrong time thereby strengthening it. The Child’s Perspective “If it worked before, it should be working now. So I will try a little harder.” The increased intensity is often enough to cause the parent to fall back into the trap by attending to this heightened inappropriate response of the child. If the parent remains consistent in not rewarding such behavior, the child will stop misbehaving. Bonus: Check out the FREE lessons of the Maloney Method Digital Reading Program. If you can read, you can teach a child to read. CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE ABOUT OUR DIGITAL LEARNING WITH VIDEO LESSONS AND THE MALONEY METHOD
